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Keep Your Shirt On

Updated: Feb 26, 2022

“Hello, I’m with a charity that provides shirts to men who run without shirts.”

Cartoon by Ellis Rosen

Just keep it on, guys. No one wants to see your sweaty skin running down the street. Instant cringe for all involved.

Suppose you’re on the beach, fine. That’s where guys are supposed to run around with no shirt on.

Yet it happens all the time. Why, do you suppose?

Some guys think they impress the ladies. These guys take their shirts off everywhere they can. If they can do it at the bowling alley, so be it.

As a runner, you lose a lot of sweat as you go. If you’ve got a shirt on, a lot of that gets soaked up, giving your shorts and shoes a break from becoming waterlogged. If you’ve got no shirt, guess where it all goes?

It may not seem like much, but an hour out on the road and your socks and shoes will be soaked, facilitating blisters much more quickly. You’ll probably start favoring one of your legs and look even more unnerving than you already do.

Another thing, and perhaps the most discourteous, is the shirt off in public. I always thought it was disrespectful. No matter what shape you’re in or how thick your sasquatch hair is. The same goes for mowing the lawn, concerts, sporting events, and all the rest. Decorum still matters.

Many men will always carry a trait that makes them think they look good, at any age, in any shape. It doesn’t just apply to their bodies, but their clothes, hair, cars, music, and personalities.

No offense, guys. I’m one of you. And I’m a runner too.

I came to the realization a long time ago that when I or anyone else - man or woman - runs, we look like we’re in pain. We gasp for air, sweat, grunt, cringe at minor aches, struggle for air, have runny eyes and runny noses.

It’s not a pretty sight, although we feel great when we’re done.

Also, when we run in the road, cars are trying to run us over anyway. Maybe they’re distracted, but I think it’s intentional. I intentionally don’t wear bright-colored clothing so that I stay safe. The better the drivers can see me, the better chance they will hit me.

Are there more significant issues in the world than sweaty, struggling men running through city streets? Yes. But knock it off.

Leave shirtless lifestyles to the guys getting busted on police videos. You’ll feel better about it and maybe live a little longer.

Good luck and keep running!



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