Dear God, I Just Want to Live in Mayberry

By Bob Deakin

“The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.” The quote is attributed to Albert Einstein. Whether he wrote it or not, it is profound, and I prefer the friendly. 

Lately, however, my preference is being paved over one development at a time and fraying the edges of my patience.

Dear God, I just want to live in Mayberry. I’m not asking for heaven, just a quiet little place where people are nice, cars drive slow, and houses are homes, not designer handbags.

Is that a crime?

The Sounds of Sunday

I don’t live in the past, but it’s easy to envision a place where Sundays sound of church bells and laughing kids, not gunshots, leaf blowers, subwoofers and Harleys. I want the smell of cut grass, charcoal, and hamburgers, not diesel fumes and weed.

Call me crazy.

Is That a Grocery Store?

Is that Mrs. Cohen in the dairy aisle next to the soda fountain? She sees me too. I haven’t seen her or her son, Josh, since we played softball two weeks ago. There’s time for a chat, and I’ll take it. 

I also see Mr. and Mrs. Rossi, and it’s been a while. Since the parking lot is small, I’ll walk them out and catch up. He’ll complain she spends too much on junk food, but no one will try to run us over.

The Goober and Gomer Show

My car is running rough, and I don’t know why. I’m not going to the internet to find a Car Kingdom, I’m going to Billy and his brother. You could liken them to a modern version of Goober and Gomer Pyle from Mayberry on the Andy Griffith Show. They’ll figure it out, ask about the family, and charge me a fair price, maybe even drive it home for me.

They won’t wait for the payment; they’ll just leave it in the driveway.

Poker On a Tuesday Night

I don’t even like poker, but it’s worth the trip to the library to see who shows up. It’s not posted online, and they don’t charge a fee. Whoever shows up is a surprise and a welcome one at that. 

We expect about a dozen, and it’s a mile from the house. I can drive there without risking my life. I reckon this is how the Universe planned it.

Trick-or-Treat!

My kids can’t wait to grab their bags and go. We know where they’re going and who will be there. It’s all good fun, and the only thing to be afraid of is the monster in the movie we’re watching later.

Nights like this make me think of a happy childhood, but as I said, I don’t live in the past. It’s Mayberry; I don’t have to.

Happy Halloween!

Banking on Trust

I go in to make a deposit, and what do you know, Emily Walker’s working the counter today and there’s only one person in front of me. I approach, she smiles, but I don’t have my account number. I show her my driver’s license and she works it out. No password required. 

A person at a bank knows and trusts me. What a wonderful place!

Dear God, I Just Want to Live in Mayberry 

I don’t want any special treatment; I just want to be treated like a human being. See my friends, bring my kids to a safe school, and gaze at the maples and oaks that shade the quiet streets.

In my prayers, this is home. People are the most precious commodity. Privacy is respected, and goodwill a given. 

I dare to speak the word happiness.

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