Hyperbole: The Best Thing to Ever Exist!

By Bob Deakin

We see it every day, everywhere. It’s not enough to be good, even great. You must be the best with an exclamation point. The football player scored; the new Spider-Man film is out; the Olympian won the 100-meter dash; the singer nailed her song. They are not great; they are the best! Not only athletes and entertainers, but the best human beings ever.

Oy vey and Aye yai yai.

It is worse in the U.S. Everything here must be loud and obnoxious. I can only pray that the word subtle is still used somewhere in the world. I live here, so I must embrace being the target.

Deep breath… Breathe in the good, breathe out the bad.

This also applies to food. You see a dull, 50-seat bar with the sign, “World’s Best Wings!” Seriously? I know, it’s fun marketing, but how are your burgers? When you raise the bar that high, it is a strain on your shoulders to keep it there.

Do you hear me, sports broadcasters and Academy Award winners?

When someone posts a video of “The greatest guitar solo ever!” I instinctively look for evidence against it. If you posted “My favorite guitar solo ever,” I’m with you. 

Hyperbole: The Best Thing to Ever Exist!

It works the same everywhere. When I am screamed at that something is the best, I know it’s hyperbole, bordering on a lie. I think of old used car salesman tactics. 

Pardon my disenchantment, influencers. Small children recognize hyperbole for what it is. How do you think the rest of us feel?

You said it was the best, and you said it loud. There is no way you can be correct. 

I am the best effin’ hyperbole detector in the world!!!

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