I’d Love to Be Your LinkedIn Connection: Here’s My Credit Card

By Bob Deakin

You're no linkedIn connection of mine.

I value my LinkedIn connections. I’m an active member, and it’s rewarding to connect with people from all locations and professions. I read your posts for information and inspiration.

We’re not here for politics or hookups, and if we are connected, thank you. I don’t care if you’re in your first job or a CEO. I will read anything, and I genuinely care how you’re doing.

That’s not my point, but it leads to my point. It’s the internet, we don’t know each other, and people steal stuff. I wish to at least assume that you are human, or be able to prove in court that I had reason to do so. 

I’d Love to Be Your LinkedIn Connection but…

Why do you have only initials for a name? How do you have 5,687 followers when your profile is barren, you’ve posted the same link for three months and you’re not famous? My brow is rising.

These friend requests never arrive with a greeting, but I can count on a message in the coming days. They offer services and, quite often, a free sample, and a question like “so what kinds of things do you like to write about?”

I like writing about cybersecurity.

You offer your services for free the first time? Awesome! Here’s my credit card number.

You're the proud mother of three boys in primary school? Hey girl! Let me tell you my baby's names and ages. 

I understand that LinkedIn is new for some and that they treat it as a social network. It does resemble Facebook with veiled political ads and opinions. I still, however, see it as a dry, mostly professional networking platform. 

Do I care when I see a post of someone celebrating seven years at a position? Yes. I congratulate them, and I mean it, even if they left two years ago. Am I happy for someone posting that they landed a new job? Yes, but I would never post it. I would update my profile.

As I said, information and inspiration. I like what I see from my connections. Keep up the good work and thank you!

To My New and Aspiring Connections

Be yourself. Don’t be someone else: Especially not me. For real, don’t steal someone else’s identity. That’s why I hesitate to pull the trigger on the connection thing. Your profile photo looks like a movie star (genre debatable) and your name is WJ Winner?

Pump the brakes, cowboy. You’re probably a nice kid. Use your powers for good instead of evil. I’m out. Nothing personal.

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