Algorithms and Cookies: I Clicked, Therefore I Am

By Bob Deakin

Algorithms and Cookies Series Part I

How does the internet know me so well? Am I comfortable with it? I try to be the best person every day, but to the internet, I’m just data. My data life begins the moment of that first click. It’s all about algorithms and cookies: I clicked, therefore I am.

Algorithms and cookies make life easier on the web, like my banker having access to my personal info before I make a transaction. Conversely, my banker has access to my personal info. Like handing keys to my mechanic, if he wants to make copies, steal my car and rob my house, he can. 

Who do I trust on the web? Anyone? No one? I just want to see who won the Yankee game.

Sometimes the Light's All Shinin' On Me

Here we go again. I click on a story about San Francisco 1968, now I’m a Dead Head. I know what happens when you click on a social media link. The data search robots now know another of my tendencies. They know me, or they think they do. I clicked, therefore I am.

Let’s make a selection on Google: “Restaurants near Times Square.” Now I’m a thespian. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I’m more than Google’s spider bots think I am. I already know restaurants near Times Square, and I’m not going to any of them. However, two or three blocks to the west and to the north? Now we’re talking. Great ethnic restaurants on 8th Ave.

I Want to Look Up, Not Down

Don’t judge me, crawlers and fetchers. You know me, but ours is a working relationship. Your talented human data teams, DevOps, xOps and all the Ops guys and girls, are going to keep track of me, put me in the right place, test me, and even clean me. 

I’m impressed with the robots acting as my concierge, but still, I spend too much time searching and less time deciding. When I’m on the streets of Manhattan, I don’t want to surf the web.

Your Friends Are Your Enemies

Admit it. We all have friends who are magnets for internet scams, and surf the net like a rock stars in the 70s. No protection whatsoever. “Free Money” sounds great to me. Let’s click this link and get the ball rolling.

They are your friends, but they are the enemy. And they mean so well. Yes, I want to 'Like' Emily’s positive affirmation on Facebook, but I know where her fingers have been. She uses her birthdate as a username and her social security number as a password. At least I hope it’s hers, and not one of her children.

I Clicked, Therefore I Am

I know I shouldn’t click ‘Like’ on my friend’s eminently positive daily Facebook post: The most beautiful rainbows are formed after the darkest storms. But I like it, and I want to let her know. Oh, look what Jason posted this morning: Learning to Love Yourself Is the Greatest Love of All. 

Aw, that’s a beautiful sentiment, and I agree with it, but that’s where it ends. If I 'Like' it, the algorithms and cookies are going to treat me like the biggest Whitney Houston fan in the world. In their minds, I clicked, therefore I am.

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In Part II, I advise why you should look before you leap.